INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN (1961)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, sociological*

Despite NEPTUNE being on many "worst film" lists, it's not quite bad enough to deserve that dishonor. It's not good, but it's bad in a fairly pedestrian way, and it has just a couple of moments that keep it from being a total waste of time.

To be sure, though I probably saw the MST3K version, which used an English dub of the Japanese film, this review is based on a subtitled version found on streaming, which probably removes a few of the more absurd moments. That said, the only scenes I liked a little were in the first half hour.

The film opens at a Japanese elementary school, with a bunch of boys talking about an impending satellite launch, apparently by the Russians (the dubbed version changed the launch to one from the U.S.) One of the kids happens to be the nephew of a Doctor Tanigawa, who's a consultant on the spaceflight, and the kids enthuse about the possibility that Japan may someday have its own space program. Their teacher Tachibana (Sonny Chiba in a very early film-role) approves of their enthusiasm and sends the boys out for recess.

The kids start fantasizing about what it would be like to have their own superhero, who would be much cooler than staid Mister Tachibana. They christen their imaginary hero Iron Sharp (usually pronounced "Ion Shawp.") Then they see a strange airship and run to investigate. In a nearby field, a spaceship has landed, and when the kids get closer, aliens with pointy helmets attack them. But conveniently enough, a flying car descends, and out jumps-- Iron Sharp! He kicks the aliens around a little and they retreat. The hero (a masked Chiba) converses with the kids a little and takes off, but not a single boy wonders how the hero they just made up has manifested out of nothing.

Clearly the writers were having a little fun here. They knew they were writing a story aimed at small kids, so why not give the kids in the audience the pleasure of seeing their fictional peers conjure up their own superhero? But having tossed out that metafictional touch, the script then devolves to a standard low-budget alien invasion flick, recycling a fair amount of footage from a Japanese WWII movie. In between the stock footage there's lots of talk about the invasion but not much real action. The aforementioned Doctor Tanigawa comes up with a force-field barrier against the "Neptune Men" (not sure I heard them called that, or anything). The invaders counterattack, in part by infiltrating the Japanese military forces with their own men, who look like Japanese guys wearing heavy makeup. Iron Sharp shows up a couple more times and finally sends the ETs packing. 

Since Chiba was a genuine martial artist, I have to assume the unexciting action-scenes were the result of a disinterested director or some other similar factor. Aside from the mildly precocious setup scenes, NEPTUNE is just an ordinary bore and doesn't deserve to be deemed "so bad it's good."