THE LOST EMPIRE (1984)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTIONS: *sociological*

In my review of DEATHSTALKER II I wrote this of director Jim Wynorski:

Along with 1984's THE LOST EMPIRE, this sequel to 1983's DEATHSTALKER are the only movies from writer-director Jim Wynorski that I found diverting. Like his mentor Roger Corman, Wynorski had the ability to inject some fair humor into movies whose main appeal was T&A, but like Corman, Wynorski often neglected quality in favor of quantity.

I've thought about reviewing EMPIRE for some time now, but I couldn't seem to get a handle on it. The film is a tongue-in-cheek adventure in which three gorgeous babes journey to an island full of other women joining an evil mystic cult. In contrast to most T&A films, EMPIRE's heroines are all tough girls skilled with weapons and in hand-to-hand combat, whose dialogue alternates between imitations of hard-bitten Clint Eastwood lines and spacey pop culture quotes. Inquiring minds want to know: if the gorgeous babes can kick the butts of all the guys they meet, are they being exploited? Is the power of the male gaze really greater than the power of the female foot in the nads?

Quick summary of the nearly nugatory plot: policewoman Angel Wolfe (Melanie VIncz) learns that her beloved brother was killed by gem thieves looking for a jewel reputed to hold magical powers. The thieves' boss turns out to be the mysterious Doctor Sin Do (Angus Scrimm of PHANTASM fame), who maintains a cult on a remote island. Doctor Do is always open to more nubile young females joining his cult, but for some reason, he only allows them to apply in groups of three. So Awesome Angel recruits two other hotties to join her in her quest for vengeance, and they both put off washing their hair that night to help a girl out. One ally is Whitestar (Raven de la Croix), an Amerindian heroine who just wants to have fun. The other is Heather (Angela Aames), currently serving time in the kind of women's prison where the guards let the prisoners settle their quarrels with splashy catfights. (Heather gets a fairly lengthy fight with prisoner Whiplash, played by Angelique Pettyjohn of STAR TREK fame.) Although Angel was the cop who arrested Heather, she's able to arrange Heather's release within an hour or so to help out the investigation.

So once the girls are on the island there are various small altercations with the lustful guards while they try to figure out Sin Do's game. Their masquerade is ruined when Angel's FBI boyfriend Rick infiltrates the island too, and the girls have to come to his rescue, getting the other girl cultists to join them in fighting the bad guys. Angel finds out that Doctor Do, by stealing the gem, is able to match it with its mate and summon magical powers. Angel manages to vanquish him anyway and all the good people escape the island before it explodes.

I only give EMPIRE a fair mythicity rating for excelling CHARLIE'S ANGELS (the TV show) in combining sexploitation with feminine empowerment, at least in a humorous fashion. (Actually EMPIRE could also be a forerunner to the more spectacular charms of the two CHARLIE'S ANGELS feature films.)  Mentioning the director's tongue-in-cheek attitude ties into my insight that the only two things he's good at are depicting sexy women and making dopey jokes. EMPIRE is better in its depiction of sexy girls, while all the jokes are lame. (He even resorts to the old standard, "How would you like a bust in the mouth" with the expected pun.) In contrast, DEATHSTALKER II doesn't have nearly as many hot babe characters but some of the jokes are genuinely funny. None of the actresses can really fake-fight, but they look sexy doing their punches and karate chops, and Wynorski supplies many such scenes for those that like them.