ONCE UPON A SPY (1980)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

Ted Danson completed this failed TV-pilot about two years before he was cast for CHEERS, so I' ll bet few people were happier than he was when the show did not result in a series. Much as I like to give unmade series the benefit of the doubt, a "Once Upon a Spy" show probably would have tainted the careers of any up-and-comers associated with it.

Jack Chenault (Danson) works for an American spy agency as a computer expert, but one day he gets called into "field work" despite his lack of training by the all-knowing agency head "The Lady" (Eleanor Parker, stuck in a nothing role). It seems that the agency is investigating a stolen NASA computer and suspicion has fallen upon eccentric scientist/millionaire Marcus Valorum (Christopher Lee). Chenault has a history with Valorum, in that the former once beat the latter out of some high-level science-award, and the agency figures that Valorum might let something slip to an old enemy out of bragging rights-- I think. Eventually 'twill be revealed that Valorum has taken a permanent ride on the crazy train, having invented a shrinking ray with which he plans to shrink Hoover Dam, just to cause lots of chaos and be generally a mean guy.

Since Chenault is not a field guy, he's teamed with a total of one field agent, Paige Tannahill (Mary-Louise Weller). Tannahill is in theory extremely skilled in both gunplay and hand-to-hand combat, but the script skimps on action in favor of far too much romantic chatter between the teammates, so the viewer has no chance to be impressed by the lady agent. Even Tannahill's climactic fight-scene against a small coterie of henchmen in the standard "villain's maze" is underwhelming.

Writer Jimmy Sangster was far better known for horror than for adventure, but he'd done far better than this knockoff in 1967's DEADLIER THAN THE MALE. As for director Ivan Nagy, I'd previously noted that his CAPTAIN AMERICA II TV-film was a little better than the previous TV-film with the hero, and SPY is a letter better than either of those. But it's a measured choice at best.