SANTO IN THE TREASURE OF DRACULA (1968)

 





PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical*


It's hard to hate a film whose title gives one the image of the masked wrestler-hero swimming around some vampire's treasure-vault as if he (the wrestler) were a south-of-the-border version of Scrooge McDuck. Still, at least this effort is lively in its absurdities, in comparison with the thoroughly dull Santo films of the period, such as the 1974 encounter of the Silver Mask and his blue buddy with a Frankenstein wannabe. Adding to the craziness of the official release version of this film is the knowledge that its director shot a slightly softcore version of the film for release in liberal Europe. I've not seen the alternate film, usually titled THE VAMPIRE AND SEX, but it goes a way toward explaining why there's so little interaction between Santo and Dracula in the regular release version.

The wackiest idea in the whole movie is not that Santo and his friends want to travel back in time to what I think was meant to be Mexico in the 1800s-- but that Santo himself is responsible for inventing the time machine. Because the masked man's goals are noble-- he wants to find the lost treasure of Dracula in order to endow a children's hospital-- one of Santo's elderly male colleagues volunteers to be the machine's first test subject. But no, demurs the Silver Mask, he needs to send back a woman, apparently because he has handy a silver bodysuit the volunteer can wear in the time machine, and the professor just wouldn't have looked good in that. The professor's daughter Luisa-- who may or may not be Santo's girlfriend, it's hard to tell-- volunteers, puts on the silver bodysuit, and steps into the past. Also, while this goes on, a mysterious man in a black hood, later given the name of "the Black Hood," skulks around, clearly planning to heist the treasure. 

However, though Luisa's present-day body disappears, she apparently merges with the Luisa of the 1800s, who is the daughter of a Professor Soler. Apparently past-Luisa is already being vampirized by Soler's neighbor, the revealingly named Count Alucard. Alucard has already decided that he wants to marry Lisa even though he has a whole entourage of scantily-clad vampire vixens-- in other words, it's "the Mina Syndrome," which might be expressed as, "the Seductive Vampire Likes ME Best of All." Professor Soler engages a vampire hunter to rescue Luisa, but she's already been turned, so the hunter has to stake first the Count, and then Luisa-- though Santo yanks present-day Luisa back to the present.

I confess I don't remember the details of how this time-jaunt helped Santo find Dracula's treasure, but one online review claims that Present-Day Luisa came back bearing a ring with a map to the current location of the riches. The Black Hood sics some of his goons on Santo, and of course Santo beats them. Then the evildoer challenges the hero to fight his strongest thug Atlas in the ring, just so none of Santo's fans miss him having a ring-fight. 

Despite Santo winning his battle, the  Black Hood tries to claim the treasure first, leading to a confrontation (but not a fight) between the Silver Mask and the Bloody Count. Dracula is destroyed and the children's hospital gets its funding.

One note: though a lot of these films include a tedious comedy relief, often some guy who has the temerity to be scared of monsters, I liked the goofy comedian here better than most of them. Not that I'd go out of my way to see his other films, but that's another minor plus-mark for this thoroughly wacky romp.

NEON CITY (1991)

  






PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, sociological*


When looking for stills with which to illustrate this review, I noticed a fair number like the one above, in which the actors are mostly just standing around. This makes a fair amount of sense when you know that the director/co-writer of NEON CITY was actor Monte Markham, who, one would expect, would be intimately concerned with what his fellow actors in the project would need.

As many online reviewers have observed NEON CITY is basically a reworking of 1939's STAGECOACH for a post-apoc film. It's 2050, and human abuse of the environment has led to many barren areas of the U.S., over which authorities in the large cities wield only provisional power. Motorcycle-riding mutant raiders range the barren lands like wild Indians, and some travelers are afflicted by bizarre weather conditions like poisonous sand storms and solar phenomena called "brights." 

The law in the cities is far from even-handed. Ex-cop Harry Stark (Michael Ironside in a rare lead role) quit the force long ago due to personal grievances, but now he can only use his skills as a bounty hunter. He captures an accused murderess, Reno (Vanity), but when he takes her in to get his bounty, an old enemy, Raymond (Markham) rigs the situation so that Stark can only get his bounty if he takes Reno to Neon City. And the only way to get there is by "riding shotgun" on a stage-- I mean, a special armed transport. Various other passengers are also traveling to Neon City, and one of the travelers is the daughter of a rich man. Her welfare is the reason Raymond is so determined that Stark go along as added security, even though the transport's driver is Stark's old enemy Bulk (Lyle Alzado). 

I won't spend very much time on the various passengers, who are all simple stereotypes, though I may as well note that one traveler is Stark's ex-wife, now a prostitute (and thus a loose parallel to the female lead of STAGECOACH). However, the destined romantic arc for Stark is one with Reno, which one should anticipate just because they argue all the time. In addition, one mysterious older fellow will eventually prove to be Doctor Xander, infamous for having run experiments that made the pollution problems worse. 

The bulk of the film is episodic, as the transport either seeks to fend off the attacks of the cycle-riding mutants or tries to find shelter for repairs and/or provisions. There's no surprise when the warriors of the group-- Stark, Reno, and Bulk-- largely work together to preserve their lives and those of the passengers. Oddly, while Bulk never attacks Stark, he tries to get busy with Reno, who manages to escape him. But there's no dramatic result of this incident, except that Reno, who refrains from accusing Bulk, suddenly breaks her tough-girl pose and explains to Stark just why she's innocent of the murder-charges.

Eventually a fair number of the characters make it to Neon City, little of which is seen beyond a receiving area. Yet for all the nastiness of the journey, some characters have some personal growth, and there's some hope that Xander may be able to reverse the climactic problems. Most post-apoc stories are downbeat in the extreme, but since I get a mild sense that Markham was trying to draw parallels between the redemption of the travelers and that of the world, I rate NEON CITY as "fair" in mythicity.

HELLBOY (2019)

 






PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *good*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical. psychological*

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

This HELLBOY was intended to be a reboot of the two-film series directed by Guillermo del Toro in the 2000s. but the 2019 movie came a cropper in the box office. 

I was never a big fan of the HELLBOY comics. I bought the series for a little while when it began, as I liked Mike Mignola's art, but I thought his plots were pretty ordinary and didn't deliver for me much emotional resonance. I'd have to say the same for the two animated projects I've reviewed on this blog, and the two live-action films I've seen but not yet reviewed, though I liked star Ron Perlman in the role quite a bit. 

Since I didn't follow the comics, I haven't read any of the narratives that are said to have influenced the script, credited to Andrew Crosby, though apparently both creator Mike Mignola and fantasy-author Christopher Golden contributed as well. But frankly, while the Perlman-del Toro films also struck me as merely adequate, this version capitalizes on the feature's need for psychological depth.

While I don't need to see every hero screaming his discontents to the heavens, the fact that Hellboy began life as a demon-child cast out of Hell into the Earth-realm, and adopted by a human "father," suggests more than a little potential character conflict. The Perlman Hellboy tended to toss off his alienation from mortals with a grunt and a smart remark. But this script foregrounds the New Hellboy (David Harbour) with the sense of being a complete outsider, constantly risking his life to battle malign occult monsters and magicians, and yet not bonded to the people he fights for. He also has a lot of daddy issues with his adoptive parent Professor Broom (Ian MacShane), in that Hellboy suspects maybe Broom just wanted a monstrous tool to use against supernatural threats.

The newest threat involves a sorceress named Nimue (Milla Jovavich), slain and torn into pieces by the sword Excalibur in the days of Merlin and King Arthur. Nimue is getting brought back to life in 21st-century Britain by various old foes of Hellboy, such as the pig-demon Gruagach and the witch Baba Yaga. What makes this recrudescence stand out from many similar ones, both in the HELLBOY franchise and in horror films generally, is that Nimue wants to bring Hellboy into her rulership of Earth. This sort of temptation is familiar as well, but the script blends it with the hero's doubts about his mission and his foster father's motives. 

Since Hellboy can't trust Broom, he gets some human (or quasi-human) allies to cheer him on. To be sure, Ben Daimio (Daniel Dae Kim) is a reluctant ally, an M-11 agent investigating Nimue's activities, and he tends to greet the monster-hero with jeers more than cheers. The other major ally is Hellboy's former childhood friend Alice Monaghan, now an adult woman (Sasha Lane). I found these performer's contributions to the big fight-scenes tended to mitigate some of the sameness of the battle-stategies of the hero, who is of course basically a Real Big Guy with a Gun. 

I must assume from the film's 'R' rating that the producers made a conscious decision to push the envelope on gore, and I applaud the effects. I don't imagine director Neil Marshall deserves sole credit for the improvement, but his HELLBOY is light years beyond the so-so thrills of the 2008 DOOMSDAY. I particularly enjoyed how Marshall and company raised the ante on the standard "opening of the gates of hell" trope, by having well designed hellspawn attacking Brit citizens by mutilating them with Boschian creativity. I won't go into Hellboy's interesting connections with Arthurian mythology, but these associations work reasonably well, though I suspect the ideas had some very episodic origins. Indeed, I could have lived without the subplot about the Osiris Society, who are introduced and then play no major role in the story. OTOH, I quite liked Hellboy's visit to Mexico despite its irrelevance to the main plot, because his squaring off against a vampire luchador seemed like an affectionate homage to the wrestling-genre of Mexican cinema.

Harbour in my view is just as good as Perlman was in the role, and though Dae Kim's character doesn't have much of an arc, the saucy stylings of Sasha Lane add some comic touches in addition to some strong fight-scenes. I glanced at a few negative reviews but it's like these guys saw a different movie than I did. Given how much homogenized horror is out there, all the filmmakers here delivered a consistent level of grue and creepiness. Supposedly, despite the bad box office, a sequel remains in the works.

HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS, SEASON ONE (1995)

  






PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, psychological. sociological*

Of the various "Action Packs" offered in 1994-- packs that consisted of three or more telefilms that served as "pilots" for a potential TV-show character-- HERCULES THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS was the only one that proved to have "legs." The HERCULES TV-films were so-so at best, but the abbreviated first season showed producer Sam Raimi successfully channeling his inner peplum-maker. 

"The Wrong Path" re-introduces the main story of Hercules (Kevin Sorbo) to any viewers who may not have seen the telefilms. Whereas in Classic myth Heracles performs the Twelve Labors in expiation of his having killed his wife and children after a spell by Hera maddened him, in the series Hera herself slew the hero's relations with a fireball. This catastrophe motivates the bereaved Hercules to undertake an endless series of labors to protect human beings from the menace of the "petty and cruel" Greek deities. This episode also re-introduces Hercules' best friend Iolaus (Michael Hurst) to provide some comic relief for the stoic but likable crusader. The main menace is a Medusa-like "she demon" who changes her victims into stone statues while Hera herself plays no active role in the story.

"Eye of the Beholder"-- the "eye" of the title is a coy reference to a one-eyed Cyclops (Richard Moll) who rides herd on a small Greek village. However, the real "villain" of the story is the prejudice of the villagers, who provoked the giant's unruliness through their bigotry against his kind. Hercules picks up another comedy relief buddy, Salmoneus, and Hera is only loosely tied into the story. 

"The Road to Calydon"-- After Hera curses a town, Hercules helps the people escape to a different city where they can be safe. Hera sends some of her warrior minions to stop them, and for good measure the hero must figure out the identity of a thief in the midst of the innocents. Hercules also fights a colossal "Stymphalian Bird" in place of mythology's horde of rapacious raptors.

"The Festival of Dionysus"-- Though the wine-god does not appear in the story, Hercules does mention that he has less of an antipathy for that deity than for most others. The rituals of Dionysus, which are oriented on the potential overthrow of the city's old king for a new one, are being stage-managed by the evil Pentheus in order that he can get rid of his reigning father the king and his brother, Nestor. By so doing, Pentheus will gain the rule of the city from his father and his brother's girlfriend; rather mundane motives compared to those of the villain's namesake from the play THE BACCHAE. Pentheus is also allied to the war-god Ares, marking the show's shift away from Hera and toward Ares as the source of mythic evils.

"Ares"-- Ares here is played only by a disembodied voice and by a huge animated warrior, though he also uses the same possession-skills evinced in "Festival." Hercules seeks out a village to deliver the sad news of a soldier's demise, and ends up helping the soldier's widow and son-- particularly the son, since Ares has already begun sowing the seeds of war-lust in the village's juveniles. Under Ares' spell the boy will accuse Hercules of having killed the boy's father to possess the mother, though of course the noble hero has no such intention, still mourning his lost family. However, as compensation Hercules is pursued by the show's first really powerful female character, blacksmith Atlanta (played by bodybuilder/actress Cory Everson).

"As Darkness Falls"-- Here's a minor shift back to Hera, for she sends a magic club to the centaur Nemis, who wishes to slay the man who killed his brother-- guess who. The hero attends a wedding, but the bride is also coveted by Nemis, which results in the usual bride-theft. A human ally of the bad centaurs named Lyla (Lucy Lawless) slips Hercules a blindness-mickey that complicates his mission.

"Pride Comes Before a Brawl"-- Iolaus feels overshadowed in his own heroic endeavors by the long shadow of his famous best friend. Iolaus strikes out on his own, but Hercules learns from the friendly deity Nemesis that his buddy may be under a death-curse. Hera is briefly referenced and the main menace is a Hydra.

"The March to Freedom"-- In the first of many anti-slavery episodes, Hercules and Iolaus seek to help a young Asian woman (Lucy Liu) captured by slavers. This leads to the heroes being obliged to help her boyfriend as well, and they both get introduced to Asian martial arts by the duo. Hercules' human mother Alcmene makes her first appearance in the TV show.

"The Warrior Princess"-- I assume that the writers already had plans to reform Xena since her other two appearances this season were filmed only two episodes later, but "Princess" shows no sign of her being anything but another ruthless warlord, albeit one more seductive in nature. She seeks to drive a wedge between Hercules and Iolaus by seducing the latter, but she gets plenty of lively fight-scenes as well. If there were references to either Hera or Ares, I must have missed them. Xena's plot is foiled and she escapes for a time.

"Gladiator"-- This was the strongest episode of the first season. In order to liberate a gladiator in a city that honors Hera's godhood, Hercules and Iolaus get themselves sentenced to the gladiatorial games as well. Hercules and Iolaus naturally end up liberating not just their original target, the oddly named "Gladius" (Tony Todd), but also discontinuing the whole practice of the evil games. The scenes with the crowd screaming for blood made me doubt that this reform was likely to take.

"The Vanishing Dead"-- Ares masquerades as a mortal soldier to trick two armies into pointless battle to feed a monstrous myth-hound. The two armies are led by siblings, but in contrast to comparable Greek myths, this time one of the siblings is female. Ares is foiled when Hercules summons the unquiet dead to counsel the living against pointless combat.

"The Gauntlet"-- Xena begins her path to redemption (and her own series) as she parts company from her own soldiers, who have been seduced by the ruthless barbarian Darphus. She gets a chance to show a wider range of emotions when she captures Salmonenus and finds herself amused by his pathetic cajolery. Hercules doesn't initially believe she's changed and they have a good fight, but of course Hercules spares her, and she ends up helping him save a town from Darphus, whom she kills. However, Ares revives Darphus as an undead minion for the concluding episode.

"Unchained Heart"-- Contrary to what I wrote above, one source claims Xena was supposed to die in this episode. I remain suspicious as to why the writers would have put so much work into a character meant to last three episodes. In any case Xena and Hercules find out that Undead Darphus is still killing and maiming, so they go after him, with some help from Salmoneus. For good measure, Iolaus shows up, but though he initially distrusts the warrior princess, he too is soon convinced of her reformation. Hercules has a single love scene with Xena-- his first since his wife's death-- though the two never become a regular "thing" in future crossovers. After the Darphus threat is quelled Xena rides off in search of further redemption.

None of the episodes rate more than fair in terms of mythicity. However, I will say that the show's rousing theme song and its accompanying narration work better than the first-season stories in terms of stirring my love of All Things Legendary.

BARBARIAN QUEEN (1985)

 


 






PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological. sociological*


Of the dozens of Roger Corman-produced films featuring gratuitous female nudity, BARBARIAN QUEEN may be the only one in which such concessions to the evil Male Gaze are entirely necessary to the plot and the main character's arc.

As the title suggests, QUEEN takes place in a standard barbaric cosmos, with lots of swords but no sorcery, except for the fact that the world itself is a made-up place with no connections to our reality. The plot takes the form of a straightforward rescue-mission, but one in which the female characters are indispensable to the defeat of the male villains.

Raiders of the evil lord Arrakur invade a peaceful village, where main character Amethea (Lana Clarkson) is about to be married to handsome hunk Argan (Frank Zagarino, long before his ascension to B-movie stardom). Argan and other villagers are captured and taken away by the raiders. But the women of the village are as hardy as their men, and Amethea and two others females escape. Their number grows to four when they track a smaller party of raiders who have taken Amethea's sister Taramis (Dawn Dunlap). After killing the raiders, Amethea and her allies continue their pursuit of Arrakur, though Tamaris has clearly been traumatized by gang-rape.

As the quartet nears Arrakur's walled city, they fortuitously encounter a small band of would-be rebels against the evil lord. The rebels help the four barbarian women enter the city covertly, and Amethea learns that the male villagers have been pressed into service as gladiators alongside other male captives, and this suggests a force that may be used against Arrakur's guards. However, Amethea and her warrior-allies are taken captive for questioning. Tamaris is separately spotted by Arrakur himself, who recognizes her from the raid. She saves herself from the torture-sessions given to Amethea by feigning craziness. In due time Amethea breaks free and paves the way for the gladiators to take on Arrakur and his men. Though Amethea battles Arrakur, Tamaris-- with whom the warlord also took his pleasures-- has the honor of killing the author of her despoilment. 

While the cinema boasts any number of gratuitous rape-scenes, the ones in QUEEN are not so easy to dismiss. It's a rude, crude, barbarian world, and when male soldiers take female prisoners, they rape them as a matter of course. Critics who have called the film problematic for showing that particular "fact of life" might as well call the entire history of human sexual dimorphism "problematic." Now, one might argue that QUEEN's most notorious scene, in which Amethea is spreadeagled on a rack by a torturer seeking info on the rebels, is not strictly necessary. However, without that setup, QUEEN would lack its most memorable scene, in which the torturer, in the process of trying to rape the warrior-woman, finds his member caught in a new version of a "man trap."

The director was Argentina-born Hector Olivera, who produced, wrote or directed some esteemed art-films alongside various trash-movies, while the script was entirely credited to American Howard R, Cohen, who to the best of my knowledge never wrote a non-exploitation script. Still, some of the actors' lines-- like Arrakur explaining the significance of pain to Amethea-- sound a little too sophisticated for Cohen, and I suspect they might have come either from Olivera or were adlibbed by the actors. (One of Amethea's warrior-girls is played by Katt Shea, who would go on to a number of writing and directing projects of her own.) The feminist message boils down to, "even if a man rapes a woman, she can still kill him," which is not without some appeal on the fantasy level.

Since Corman almost certainly did not spring for fight coordinators, no one looks all that great in the fight scenes, but there are a lot of them, and Lana Clarkson essays her most famous role with great gusto. Just for its unique place in the realm of sword-and-sorcery films, BARBARIAN QUEEN would probably make my top ten in that category.


JONNY QUEST (1964-65)

 





PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTIONS: *cosmological, sociological *


The tradition of heroic adventure represented by the so-called "Golden Age of Newspaper Comics" was in decline by 1964. Yet thanks in large part to artist-animator Doug Wildey, Hanna-Barbera broke out of its rut of "kiddie-cartoons" with JONNY QUEST. Almost sixty years later, JONNY represents the "gold standard" for the company thanks to Wildey's skillful interplay of Caniff-like graphics with a greater usage of sci-fi concepts, possibly encouraged by the growing popularity of the James Bond films. Only a few key episodes can be deemed mythic under my definition-- I'll mark these with three asterisks-- but in the kinetic sense, there's not a weak episode among the 26 original tales.

THE MYSTERY OF THE LIZARD MEN-- This script was surely the first one written, for there's no reference to the cast-member Hadji, even though he appears with the others in the intro. There's just eleven-year old Jonny, his father Benton Quest, his "big brother"/ guardian Race Bannon, and his comical dog Bandit. Oh, and in a couple of scenes the Quests consult with a mini-computer known as UNIC (but pronounced "Eunice"). Most likely the showrunners decided that the heroes didn't need a computer to provide backstory, so UNIC disappeared.

Seeing MYSTERY again as an adult, it's evident how flimsy the main concept was. First, the viewer witnesses how ships drawing near the Sargasso Sea are annihilated by a red beam, later revealed to be a laser (just like the one on the 1963 GOLDFINGER film). These attacks come about because some foreign operatives plan to shoot down a moon-rocket with their ray-beam (a little like DOCTOR NO). Both the use of the laser and the agents' masquerade as "lizard men" in scuba suits actually draw the attention of the U.S. government to the anomalies. But then, who cares, given all the delirious pulp action made possible by these lizard-loonies?

Jonny's cultured father, despite being a scientist, is treated by the government reps as if Benton were a field-agent on whom they could call at any time (though in most other episodes Benton is called into action by non-governmental individuals). Rather comically, the government men claim that Race is there to protect the "security" of son Jonny, though of course the exploits of Bannon and the Quests are anything but "secure."

ARCTIC SPLASHDOWN-- Again the space-race is paramount, for a U.S. capsule has descended into the Arctic ice, possibly due to outside tampering a la DOCTOR NO. Rather than calling in the Air Force, the government wants Benton and company to make sure the capsule self-destructs before foreign agents can get it. (When said agents do appear, they have a general East European tonality.) Hadji joins the cast with no explanation, and he does the first of many "Hindu magic tricks" by pulling a dog biscuit from Bandit's ear. SPLASHDOWN is the first of many episodes in which Bandit and the boys have generally comical adventures with exotic animals, this time a walrus and a family of polar bears. This is essentially a naturalistic adventure.

THE CURSE OF ANUBIS-- This time Benton is summoned by a scholarly colleague, and the Quest group journeys to Egypt.  though Doctor Kareem actually hopes to frame the Americans for crimes involving the desecration of an Egyptian pyramid. Kareem's ambitions have something to do with Arab nationalism, though even when I was a kid, I didn't think that the current Muslim population of the so-called "Middle East" would have been that exercised about the profanation of a pagan tomb. Nevertheless, in keeping with established pulp-story tropes, modern Egyptians still act as if they believe in the ancient deity Anubis.

However, in the series' only usage of a supernatural force, that belief turns out to be justified, for a guardian-mummy in the profaned tomb comes to life. The mummy stalks around openly in its bandages but is only seen sporadically, not really taking vengeance on anyone until the bang-up finish.

PURSUIT OF THE PO-HO-- The wife of a Benton-colleague-- possibly an anthropologist, though the script does not say so-- summons the Quests to help liberate her kidnapped husband from a tribe of savage South American Indians, the "Po-Hos" of the title. Benton gets the idea of spooking the Indians by making them believe that he's a new god to whom the Po-Hos must bow down. To their credit-- and this is the natives' only virtue-- they aren't fooled for a moment, and they just kidnap Benton, planning to sacrifice him alongside the other man. Race's attempt to masquerade as a native god makes the episode "uncanny," as well as providing a comic conclusion.

RIDDLE OF THE GOLD-- A U.S. agent asks Benton to investigate the provenance of a new source of gold appearing in a Hindu mine, so the Quests are off to India. The gold does turn out to be counterfeit, created via uncanny science, but the main importance of the episode is that it's the first appearance of perennial enemy Doctor Zin, though Benton's dialogue establish that he and Race have met the villain before. Zin operates through a minion who can kill victims with a Bond-like device: a cigarette lighter with a poisoned needle in it. Hadji, raised in Calcutta, takes pleasure in visiting his native land. Modern kids won't understand Jonny's quip about using Mount Everest to hold a TV aerial.

TREASURE OF THE TEMPLE-- The Quests return to South America, though this time it's specifically the Yucatan Jungle, where Benton wants to investigate a Mayan Temple. The scientist's only interest is scholarly, but a scurrilous treasure-hunter, Perkins, thinks the Quests may chisel in on his hunt for Mayan treasure. This is another naturalistic adventure, and the villains suffer one of the show's grisliest fates, being implicitly devoured by crocodiles.

CALCUTTA ADVENTURE-- At last Hadji gets an "origin story." The story actually begins in media res, as the Quests reminisce about the time Benton went to Calcutta to lecture other scientists about his invention of a sonic weapon. (For some reason, Benton thinks this deadly weapon can somehow be channeled "for the good of mankind.") The Quests have also been called in to investigate mysterious ailments in the area, not knowing that their old buddy Zin has created a nerve-gas facility in the mountains. One of Zin's henchmen almost kills Benton, but street-urchin Hadji rescues him, earning the Quests' gratitude. Hadji puts the heroes in touch with his friend Pasha Peddler, a jive-talking merchant who helps the good guys access the facility-- though he charges the Americans heavily for his services. Pasha never appears again, but his love of money is arguably transferred to the character of Jade. Contrary to a Wiki-article, Pasha does not have lighter skin-color than other Indians in the story. Hadji goes back to America with the Quests and Pasha arranges for his adoption.

THE ROBOT SPY-- One of the most flamboyantly "sci-fi" episodes starts with Benton creating a ray-gun able to paralyze the systems of planes. Doctor Zin decides to become pro-active about invading Benton's own sanctum with a "robot spy," also described as a "Trojan Horse." The robot is a bit cartoony, consisting of a spherical "eye" and four spider-like legs, but its ability to plow through all manner of military attacks testifies that Zin is every bit Benton's equal at contriving super-weapons. Though the robot succeeds in stealing data about the para-power ray gun, Benton triumphs by using super-science to beat super-science.

DOUBLE DANGER-- It's another Zin episode, but this time he uses a much simpler method of espionage. Having learned of Benton's plan to harvest a rare Thai drug for the space program, Zin hires an impostor to masquerade as Race in order to steal Benton's research. While the real Race is being held prisoner, his double fools everyone--except the Quests' mercenary ally Jade, a chip off the old Caniff Dragon Lady. As was the case with Zin's initial episode, everyone in the Quest circle is already familiar with Jade despite this being her first appearance. Jade invites the double to greet her with a kiss, and so figures out that he's a phony. The episode culminates in a dramatic rescue that involves Hadji playing "mahout" to a rampaging herd of elephants.

THE SHADOW OF THE CONDOR***-- For the first time, no one summons the Quests to their next adventure. They just happen to be flying over the Andes Mountains, with Race in the pilot's seat, when the plane must make an emergency landing. To their surprise, there's  a private estate in the lonely, condor-haunted mountains, complete with a landing strip. The estate's owner is former World War I aviator Baron Von Frohleich, and he maintains a small contingent of fighter planes of that era. Frohleich secretly wants one last aerial dogfight in which he can kill an enemy pilot, and he maneuvers Race into such a dogfight-- but one in which Frohleich alone has loaded guns. The Baron is undone by his own disrespect for the local wildlife, though the condor isn't exactly a "good guy," since he almost carries off Bandit to be nest-food. This one's "uncanny" given the oddness of the Baron's murder-plot.

SKULL AND DOUBLE CROSSBONES-- When Benton tests a mini-sub in the Caribbean, local pirates hope to use his resources to unearth sunken treasure. This includes the odd sight of Bandit swimming underwater with the help of a special aqualung.

THE DREADFUL DOLL-- The Quests are still in the Caribbean, but now Benton's researching marine biology with the help of a bathysphere. A planter from a local island implores Benton for medical help with his daughter, who seems to be stricken by a voodoo spell from local witch doctor, Korbay. In the same tradition as the Lizard Men, Korbay is using a hoax to drive away most of the planters so that no one sees that his partner Harden is constructing a submarine beneath the island. Korbay is the only Negroid character in the episode.

A SMALL MATTER OF PYGMIES-- Though real pygmies only have tribes in Africa and Asia, for some reason the script seems to think they live in South America, where Benton maintains a lab. Race, Jonny, Hadji and Bandit are flying a small plane to rendezvous with the scientist. The plane fails, but the heroes survive the crash and start walking back to civilization. They see a lone pygmy about to be sacrificed to a black panther, so Race kills the beast with a rifle. This honks off the pygmies who set their victim out to be killed, so the little men take Race and company prisoner. The heroes then get help from the man they saved. For some reason the pygmies are also compared to Asian cargo cults. Hadji's use of levitation makes this one marvelous.

DRAGONS OF ASHIDA ***-- Benton is invited to a isle somewhere in the vicinity of Malaysia, going by the usage of Malay terms like "tuan" and "amuck." The diabolical-looking, presumably Japanese master of the isle is a zoologist who has devoted his life to breeding lizards into horse-sized "dragons," but he's no longer the respectable scientist Benton knew. He's become a worshiper of strength, claiming that "in nature, only the strong survive," and eventually the Quests learn that this distant descendant of Count Zaroff hunts people with his dragon. After Ashida challenges Race to a martial arts duel and loses, the sorehead terrorizes the Quests with both his monstrous lizards and with their trainer, the one-eyed sumo wrestler Sumi. Race's martial skills get a big workout this time.

TURU THE TERRIBLE-- While the Quests seek a special mineral in the Amazon jungle, they learn that the local natives are being abducted by Turu, a prehistoric pteranodon. The heroes eventually learn that a weird old man raised Turu from a "chick" and trained the creature to abduct natives in order to work in his mines. Great aerial battles ensue between the beast and the jet-pack-wearing adults, giving the two kids little to do this time.

THE FRAUDULENT VOLCANO-- Mount Tarawa on the island of Tabiti has been blowing its top quite often, which is only natural because Doctor Zin has set up shop inside, creating explosions for his own purpose. Benton happens to be in the area testing a new means of extinguishing oil-fires, so the Tahitian governor calls the scientist in for a consult. When Race and Benton fly over the volcano in a plane, Zin's men shoot down the plane with a ray-gun, and then capture the two men when they parachute to earth. Since Zin tells his captives that he means to sell his research to hostile powers, one presumes that it's the ray-gun he means to sell, and that the volcano-activity is yet another means of frightening away the curious. The minions of Zin's volcano sport some cool flying platforms.  Jonny and Hadji get to rescue the adults this time. Not much action for Bandit this time.             

WEREWOLF OF THE TIMBERLAND-- Some vague research leads the Quests to the Canadian woods. There the heroes learn that a gang of lumberjacks are smuggling gold, trying to scare away locals by having one man dress like a werewolf. The Quests get some help from a mysterious Amerindian man, White Feather, who has the habit of disappearing from sight when anyone looks away from him. Uncanny for sure.

PIRATES FROM BELOW-- For once the Quests stick close to their Florida home, and some villains come to them. Benton is developing a new submarine for the U.S. Navy, a vehicle complete with remote control grappling-arms able to dislodge annoying squids. Another submarine, full of spies with East European accents, descends upon the compound, taking Race, Bandit and Jonny prisoner. The foreign agents have even built a subterranean base, protected by a net-barrier. The villains have cool hovercrafts and mini-subs as well.

ATTACK OF THE TREE PEOPLE-- The Quests are vacationing off the coast of Africa when their boat catches fire. Race and Benton are rescued by a cruiser, while Jonny, Hadji and Bandit end up on the uninhabited coastline. A tribe of great apes takes a liking to the boys and their dog, making it harder for them to watch for rescuers. Two reprobates take the boys prisoner for the purpose of ransom, but they don't count on being "monkeyed with."

THE INVISIBLE MONSTER***-- On a remote island in the South Pacific, a physicist unleashes energy-forces that coalesce into a living creature that feeds on all forms of energy. Before being "consumed" by the creature-- which apparently means being disintegrated-- the scientist calls in the Quests, who as usual don't bring in the local authorities. The monster is terrifying both in its invisible phase and after the heroes manage to "paint" it into visibility. 

THE DEVIL'S TOWER-- Benton has to take off time from atmospheric research in Africa when his probe goes missing atop an escarpment. When Race flies the group to the top of the plateau, they're all captured by a surviving tribe of cavemen. The primitives are controlled by an ex-Nazi, Von Deuffel, who has been stranded atop the escarpment for years, having forced the cavemen to mine diamonds for him. Von Deuffel escapes in the Quests's airplane, but makes the mistake of trying to kill the heroes directly and meets his doom.

THE QUETONG MISSILE MYSTERY-- In a fictional Chinese city (probably an analogue of Hong Kong), Benton is asked to consult on more mysterious deaths of locals by poisoning. The poison comes from contamination produced by a hidden missile base, under the command of a Chinese mastermind wearing a uniform that looks Red Chinese. The base, hidden in a swamp, is surrounded by stationary mines able to destroy any invading boat. The general's minions kidnap Jonny and Hadji to make Benton and Race knuckle under, but of course that just provokes the heroes to come to the rescue.

THE HOUSE OF SEVEN GARGOYLES-- A Norwegian scientist invites the Quests to his castle just as an acquisitive spy uses a unique method to uncover the scientist's anti-gravity secrets. Of the seven gargoyles on the castle's parapet, one is a disguised acrobat posing as a stone figure, the better to steal the prized secrets. The acrobat works for a notorious local schemer, and the thieves fall out in the end, so that the heroes don't even have to do their own killing. The best scenes are those in which Jonny tries to convince the others that he saw a stone gargoyle move.

TERROR ISLAND-- Mad scientist Chu Sing Ling plots to unleash gigantic monsters-- giant crabs, lizards, and spiders-- on the world, and he wants help. The Quests happen to visit Hong Kong, so Chu has Benton kidnapped. Race tells Jonny, Hadji and Bandit to stay clear while he launches his own search for the missing scientist. To that end he enlists the services of winsome mercenary Jase, making the second of her two appearances. Jade didn't actually do much in her first appearance, but here she's shown to be ruthless with the use of a pistol as she questions the local riffraff. Chu is hoist on his own monstrous petard, and Jade and Race share an impressive liplock. Jade has a possible double entendre line when she tells Race, "I almost never kidnap my friends-- for money, that is." 

MONSTER IN THE MONASTERY-- The Quests pass over Nepal and Benton decides to visit an old acquaintance, a Nepalese spiritual leader with the odd name of "Raj Guru," which in real Sanskrit might mean something like, "King Teacher." The Raj Guru's city is being besieged by creatures that look like Yetis, though the monsters seem fully conversant in the use of human tools like catapults. Jonny and Hadji chase Bandit into the abandoned palace inhabited by the Yetis, and learn that the monsters are just men in costumes. (Not sure they're all Asians, but the leader is, suggesting another Red Chinese plot.) The boys only manage to escape the insurrectionists after many daredevil stunts, but by the time the adults make the scene, all the conspirators have been killed, albeit bloodlessly, by a real Yeti. The odd name of the ancient palace is "Kali Yuga," a real term connoting the last age of mankind.

THE SEA HAUNT-- The title may be a pun on the TV show "Sea Hunt," which had concluded three years previous to QUEST. The episode also provides a bang-up finish to the series. Flying somewhere near Sumatra, the Quests see an abandoned Dutch ship and they land their plane on it to investigate. Both the ship's log and a single survivor, a Chinese cook, attest that the ship is being "haunted" by a huge, near-invulnerable humanoid fish-creature, whom the Chinese cook calls a "dragon." The beast destroys the Quest plane, stranding the heroes on the ship, and they have to fight a tense holding action to survive. Charlie the Cook actually sends the "dragon" back into the deep. The ship's hidden cargo is a cache of gold, which is probably a clever reference to dragons and their association with treasure-troves.


HONOR ROLL #209

 There's no one racier than RACE BANNON.



The original "man trap," as essayed by LANA CLARKSON.




CORY EVERSON might not Herculean, but she's the first powerful woman on HERCULES, predating even Xena.



DAVID HARBOUR made just as good a monster-hero as the previous guy, and maybe a little better.



Finally MICHAEL IRONSIDE gets the center square.



No one will treasure ALDO MONTI's performance.




THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, SEASON ONE (1966)

 







PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTIONS: *cosmological*


Without Filmation's early success at producing Superman's first animated teleseries, we might never have had all those later great Filmation shows, like-- uh-- don't help me--

I joke, for even though the first season of SUPERMAN is largely pedestrian, it did give rise to better shows like AQUAMAN and  THE ADVENTURES OF BATMAN, as well as some later above-average efforts like TARZAN and BRAVESTARR. The DVD I'm reviewing includes all 36 episodes of the first season, all of which are about seven minutes long. The DVD does not include the SUPERBOY episodes, each of which was originally sandwiched between two SUPERMAN stories. 

The absence of the SUPERBOY tales is no great loss, for they lack the principal asset of the SUPERMANs-- that of adapting a handful of familiar figures from the DC Super-mythos. The radio show had utilized kryptonite and had guest-starred Batman and Robin, and the second Super-serial included Luthor as its main villain. But ADVENTURES was the first non-comics appearance for such four color creations as Mxyzptlk, Brainiac, Titano, Toyman, Prankster, and the Parasite-- though many of these, particularly Brainiac, were retooled for the simplistic cartoon format. Unfortunately a lot of the Filmation tales feature aliens and/or rampaging monsters, and as in the later AQUAMAN, Filmation coudn't design a good E.T. to save its corporate life. 

Indeed, both the scripts and the animation are extremely rocky, though all the episodes feature good voice-work, particularly by Bud Collyer, reprising his Superman/Clark Kent vocals from the radio program. Though the scripts are kept simple, they at least have the same feel as many comic-book scripts, not least because some contributors, such as Arnold Drake and editor Mort Weisinger, came from the comics. 

The comics of the time had given the Man of Steel a few other vulnerabilities other than the default of kryptonite, but things like red-sun radiation and magical spells are never invoked in the cartoon. Indeed, the scripts featuring an original super-villain, the mystic Warlock, claim that the evildoer's magic CAN'T harm the hero. But he can at least be rocked about a bit for a few super-powered monsters, like "The Force Phantom." Only one episode really overcomes its limitations: "The Pernicious Parasite," which adapts the first Parasite story from the comics. Writer Oscar Bensol put a new spin on the comics-original by renaming the villain "Icy Harris," which as I've argued elsewhere, is a pun on the Greek myth-name Icarus. I particularly like this one because Superman, who usually spares his enemies, practices good self-defense by letting Harris steal so much strength that the villain blows himself up.

Other tidbits: Bensol also penned "The Malevolent Mummy," in which an Egyptian sorcerer rises from the dead and creates havoc by inverting the Pyramid of Khufu and making it spin around like a top. This mummy, BTW, travels from place to place in a sandstorm, over thirty years before the 1999 MUMMY associated its mummy-magus with such elemental powers. Lastly, the story "The Men from APE"-- clearly a joke at 1964's THE MAN FROM UNCLE-- teams up Luthor, Toyman, Prankster and Warlock. This comes close to being the first super-villain teamup in American animated cartoons. However, SUPERMAN gets beaten out in that category by another famed strongman, given that ACP's 1963 MIGHTY HERCULES program sometimes had its small coterie of villains gang up to defeat their Olympian foeman.

NICK KNIGHT (1989)

 






PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTIONS: *metaphysical, psychological*


NICK KNIGHT was a true rarity: an American-made pilot for a TV show that didn't get picked up in its original form, but was retooled about three years later for a roughly commensurate teleseries. This program, FOREVER KNIGHT, then ran for three seasons with almost all of the carryover characters played by different actors.

Handsome singer Rick Springfield essays the original version of Nick Knight, a guy with a secret. By day he usually hides from the sun, while at night he comes out to solve crimes as a L.A. cop while fighting the urge to prey upon human beings. For two hundred years, Nick has been a vampire who never ages, and so must continually change locations in order to avoid attracting attention (one character calls it "the Dorian Gray effect.") The spotty screenplay doesn't clarify how he goes about getting the blood he needs for survival, only that he doesn't attack random humans for his sustenance. Also going unexplained is how a man who can't easily face sunlight (though the script isn't consistent on the point) ever manages to make his way through a Los Angeles police academy. The main concern is just to put across the "high concept" of "vampire cop."

In the three years since Nick took up residence in L.A., he's made one human ally who knows his secret: police coroner Brittington, who may be Nick's source of hemoglobin, though it's not explicitly said so. Once he's become a police officer, his superiors generously allow him to work only at night because he's just so good at crime-solving, and to mostly work alone-- though this story starts out with the nocturnal loner being saddled with a comedy-relief partner named Schanke (played by the one actor who did reprise his role for FOREVER KNIGHT).

Nick, who has for the most part eschewed the bloodsucker life, is naturally concerned when the news carries reports of homeless people being killed and drained of blood, which incidents are naturally termed "vampire murders" by the news. Nick is also concerned by the murder of a guard at a local museum, from which a relic, a Mayan goblet, is stolen. The guard too is drained of blood, but from a bite, not from a throat-slash. While investigating the guard's murder, Nick encounters Alyce, a comely anthropologist (Laura Johnson), and because of their conversation Alyce begins to suspect that the apparently young fellow is a lot older than he appears.

The script doles out bits and pieces as to Nick's true history. Two hundred years ago (not the eight hundred of FOREVER KNIGHT), he was seduced into vampirism by two mentors, Lacroix (Michael Nader) and Janelle (Cec Verrell). Janelle has by coincidence set up her own bar in L.A., but Nick doesn't suspect her of the vampiric assault, though he seems to know that she's been ensconced in the city since before he arrives. Nick wants Janelle to tell him if Lacroix in in town, because he knows that the elder vampire took it hard when Nick went off on his own. The relationship of the two male vampires is described as being that of brothers, and the casting of actors Springfield and Nader, both in their early forties at the time, supports this. However, Lacroix's animosity is never as convincing as the Nick-Lacroix relationship in FOREVER KNIGHT, where Lacroix is a stern father insisting that his prodigal "son" obey his wishes.

When Nick tracks down Lacroix, the latter forswears involvement in the murder of the homeless people, but affirms that he killed the guard and stole the goblet, because he knew that the goblet could be used in a ritual to reverse vampirism. The two vamps fight and Lacroix destroys the goblet, after which Lacroix is put temporarily out of commission while Nick flees into the daylight and is forced to hide from the sun in the trunk of his car. This leads to a somewhat funny (if overlong) sequence in which Schanke takes possession of his partner's car and manages to wreck it while Nick is still in the trunk.

The solution of the serial killer mystery is tedious and is hardly worth the time it consumes. Alyce of course falls in love with Nick (she's manifestly a "Mina-type," a subdued girl whose safe life is upended by a dangerously attractive mystery man), and so she gets caught between Nick and Lacroix as they finish their battle. This conflict is muddled by Nick's attempt to avoid drinking blood, so that the enemies are not well matched. Nick still triumphs but Alyce perishes at the hands of Nick's "brother." Had NICK KNIGHT become a series, Alyce's absence would have left the hero's romantic options. Things wind up with Brittington encouraging Nick to keep looking for vampire cures. On the whole, though Springfield makes a very cool vampire cop, I don't think a series based on this premise would have proved as interesting as FOREVER KNIGHT, even though that show had its flaws as well (particularly a dependence on HIGHLANDER-like flashbacks).


ANGEL COP (1989)

 






PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTIONS: *cosmological, sociological*


ANGEL COP is a six-part OVA series that posits a future-world in which Japan has become the most powerful economic force on the planet. In the real world, Japan's "economic miracle" fizzled out roughly two years after the year COP came out. Obviously a lot of productions both before and after this series presented "Japan-centric" societies, so this makes an interesting contrast to a series like GUILTY CROWN, where Japan has been forced to knuckle under by other nations.

Precisely because Future-Japan sits in the catbird seat, other entities seek to kick them off that lofty perch. The most persistent foes are a Communist group, the Red May, which initiates terrorist actions to de-stabilize the economy. These threats are so great that the normal police force cannot fight such foes, and the government institutes the Special Security Force, a team of total badasses who are better able to take precipitate action.

Angel Mikawa, the "cop" of the title, is the epitome of ruthless justice, though her partner Raiden is more concerned with protecting innocents from criminal attack. As if to signal the futility of kinder and gentler special agents, Raiden is apparently killed in a firefight, leaving Angel free to pursue her extreme form of justice.

But a third force enters the game. Three bizarre mutants-- little girl Freya, dignified Asura, and FBB Lucifer-- begin attacking the agents of the Red May, killing the provocateurs when possible. When the special agents try to rein in these vigilantes, the agents too are killed or incapacitated, thanks to the fact that the mutants, called "Hunters," have fabulous psychokinetic powers. 

Angel's mission becomes even more complicated when a mysterious armored warrior enters the fray. This proves to be a Robocop version of Raiden, given cyborg-powers, so Angel gets some high-level help there. In addition, both Asura and Freya defect from their cause, providing aid to the special forces. Lucifer, an enormous blonde woman with the most powerful psychokinesis, becomes the main villain, and seems able to defeat the attacks of any other opponent.

Angel prevails, of course, but in the process she uncovers corruption in the Japanese government, which created the mutants for the same purpose the Communists have: to de-stabilize the culture-- though the motive is profit, not ideology. And the real culprit behind the corrupt officials are their foreign backers, the Americans. Though this may be standard America-bashing, at least this time it's in keeping with the hostility real-world Americans held toward Japan's "economic miracle" in the eighties. Allegedly the original backers were said to be American Jews, which suggests that the creator had bought into the "Elders of Zion" conspiracy theory. None of this, if true, survives in current translations. 

Angel and Raiden never become more than schematic sketches of their respective views of "justice" and "mercy" respective. The only approximation of a character-arc is that Angel starts out as utterly ruthless in her focus on her job. She ends up sacrificing Raiden (with his encouragement) to take out Lucifer, but she regrets having to do so. All the rest of the time, she's just a standard badass, only impressive when she dons her own set of cyborg-armor in the last couple of episodes.



One interesting tidbit is the OVA's use of a FBB villain in 1989. Women's bodybuilding had increased in the very late eighties, but FBB images didn't really become common until after Linda Hamilton played a pumped heroine in TERMINATOR 2. It would be interesting to know how prevalent such figures were in Japanese entertainment during this period. 


TEKKEN 2: KAZUYA'S REVENGE (2014)

 







PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTIONS: *sociological*


Since I don't pay any attention to how much video-game films resemble the original games, I suppose I shouldn't care that much when the separate installments of those films don't resemble each other. Still, upon looking at my review of the 2010 TEKKEN, I noticed that the villain of that film is a guy named Kazuya, who's also the father of the martial hero Jin. So is TEKKEN 2: KAZUYA'S REVENGE a prequel to TEKKEN, purporting to tell how the later film's villain came to be, a la the Second STAR WARS trilogy? If so, the writers of REVENGE had absolutely no idea how to pull off that sort of experiment. A lot of people didn't like Second STAR WARS for assorted reasons, but at least no one was ever unclear about the trilogy's purpose of telling the origin of Darth Vader.

What the viewer gets in this TEKKEN prequel is an hour and a half of the amnesiac protagonist K (Kane Kosugi) wandering around like a somnambulist for most of the film, except for occasional burst of kung-fu violence. This story too is set in the future but one can barely tell, since it's all on cheap street-sets and in various warehouse-looking buildings. K wakes up in a hotel room, not even knowing his name. Cops burst in for some reason and the bemused fellow runs for it. A gang of kung-fu assassins abduct him and their leader, The Minister, gives the amnesiac his letter-name (the same sort of names he gives to his other followers), and invites K to join them in their quest of assassinating bad people. K doesn't have anything better to do, so he hangs around, even though he doesn't like the idea of killing. (Guess his personality took a big change in time for the movie.) There are some nice-looking women in the gang, though K doesn't seem to be interested in any of them, even though one of them, Rhona (Kelly Wenham) seems interested in him.

One online review sports the theory that the story began as an independent project and was forced into the TEKKEN franchise to make it more salable. This makes a good deal of sense, and not only because there's no real payoff when K finds out that he's Kazuya, who will eventually be the villain of the 2010 film. In addition, actors Gary Daniels and Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa play roles approximately like those they essayed in TEKKEN, but both could have been written out of the story easily.

Kane Kosugi, offspring of Sho "REVENGE OF THE NINJA" Kosugi, is one of the most inert actors I've ever seen, even when he's doing his kung fu action. Beside him, Kelly Wenham seems positively animated, and she's playing a world-weary assassin. The script tells us why we ought to care for K, but we just don't, not even when he plays Good Samaritan to a neighbor-lady pestered by thugs. There's a little nudity, but the dialogue is as stultifying as the plot and the kung-fu girls get no decent action. The 2010 TEKKEN was at least mindless fun, but REVENGE is merely mindless.


THE KID WHO WOULD BE KING (2019)

 


 




PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, psychological*


For some thirty years now I've seen numerous films in which some denizen of Arthurian Britain invades the modern world, either literally traveling in time or being reincarnated in some contemporaneous body. Most of them are dogs like the 1999 ARTHUR'S QUEST, whose creators are overly impressed with their banal conceptions. THE KID WHO WOULD BE KING, a British production written and directed by Joe (ADVENTURES OF TINTIN) Cornish is a fairly simplified take on the Arthurian mythos, but it's consistently engaging.

First, the prologue relates a D&D version of the conflict between Arthur and his half-sister Morgana. The film skirts the circumstances of Arthur's conception and asserts that after Young Arthur pulls Excalibur from the stone with the help of Merlin, he manages to unite many warring tribes of England. Envious Morgana turns to dark magic and tries to overthrow Camelot, and the story of Arthur ends with Merlin using his magic to imprison the serpentine form of Morgana in some other dimension.

Fast forward to the present. Alex (Louis Ashborne Serkis) is a short middle-school kid who pals around with his pudgy mate Bedders as they try to avoid being targeted by school bullies Lance and Kaye (the latter a rarely seen girl bully). Alex lives alone with his mother, and nothing is said of his father for half the film. By accident Alex stumbles across an ancient sword whose markings suggest Excalibur, according to an old book left to Alex by his absent father. But the unearthing of Excalibur awakens Morgana, and now she has power enough to send demon minions to obtain the sword.

A new boy, calling himself Mertin, enters the middle school, and soon enough he calls upon Alex and Bedders, telling them that he is actually Merlin traveling in time and Alex is the descendant of Arthur.  (I assume Bedders descends from Sir Bedivere but I don't believe it's stated.)  Alex and Bedders only believe this story after Merlin saves Alex from one of the demons. (The effort costs him energy, though, and Young Merlin briefly transforms into Old Patrick Stewart.) The youngsters must then find some way to combat Morgana-- and their best chance seems to be to bring Lance and Kaye into the fold, the way ancient Arthur reconciled warring kings. But can two bullies, implicitly named for archaic figures inimical to the archaic King of Britain, be trusted?

KID does set itself aside from the dozens of films in which bully-characters are just used as convenient targets for vengeance, since in this case Alex must actually manage to convert them to the cause of a noble mission. This is decent melodrama, but nothing exceptional. The script goes awry by introducing the story of the absent father, because it never becomes important to the story, not even in terms of straining Alex's relationship with his mother. The final confrontation with Morgana puts across the action with adequate FX, though the best scene in the film involves Alex knighting the whole student body of his school to battle the demons. (Naturally no kids are harmed during this demon invasion.)

I thought Serkis was a bit too nebbish-y to make a juvenile Arthur, and his line-readings are rather mechanical. Patrick Stewart isn't in the film long enough to make any impression, so I don't know why the producers bothered to hire him. Angus Imrie provides the best performance as Quirky Young Merlin, who excels in instructing the other kids in the Chivalric Code.

SHADOW OF THE HAWK (1976)

 






PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphyscial*

This low-budget supernatural thriller, directed by George McCowan of FROGS fame, is significant for being one of the few commercial films up to that time to delve into the world of Native American magical practices. 

Jan-Michael Vincent plays Mike (no last name), a young, half-Indian computer tech living in the big city and dating a rich girl. He seems to be on his way up the corporate ladder, but he has a weird dream in which he sees a ghostly creature trying to reach him. At the same time, Mike gets a visit from a relative he hasn't seen in ten years: his grandfather Old Man Hawk (Chief Dan George). As a few establishing scenes demonstrate, Hawk seems to be bedeviled by mysterious forces as he walks all the way to the big city. There the old man collapses. He's succored by lady reporter Maureen (Marilyn Hassett), who helps Hawk reach his grandson. 

Hawk then spins a wild tale of being pursued by a vengeful witch. Though Mike has always known that his grandpa served as medicine man to his tribe, but the young man never believed in Indian sorcery, and in any case has entirely embraced the life of his white forbear. (There's no info given about either of Mike's parents.) Hawk foresees that he may not be able to conquer the witch's powers, and so he wants Mike to take up the mantle of the medicine man and defeat the witch.

Though Mike is reluctant to leave his prosperous life, Hawk and Maureen convince him to drive his grandpa back to his tribal lands, with Maureen ostensibly coming along for a possible human interest story (though both she and Mike are plainly interested in one another). Strange men in a black car pursue Mike's vehicle, and Hawk demonstrates the reality of Indian magic by conjuring up an invisible wall in the road, so that the pursuit car crashes into it. Soon the trio are forced to make their way on foot through the Canadian wilderness, as they are harassed by various spells from the witch and occasional human pawns (a man dressed up in a bird costume). Not surprisingly, Mike overcomes his reluctance, accepts his heroic duty and vanquishes the sorceress-- though he seems to learn magic with no more difficulty than taking up gardening.

SHADOW is mostly a chase-film, with some nice if not exceptional wilderness-scenes. I can't claim that the script is deeply insightful into Native American religion, but some scenes communicate the dominant Indian attitude toward the magical ways of seeing the supernatural as an outgrowth of the natural world. McGowan mostly worked in television, so his visual style is never more than efficient, but I found this simple thriller more entertaining than a great number of CGI-heavy movies. 

HONOR ROLL #208

 There are no shadows on the career of CHIEF DAN GEORGE.



ANGUS IMRIE, Boy Merlin.




Maybe when KANE KOSUGI agreed to do "Tekken 2," he thought he'd scored a movie with Liam Neeson.




Nothing angelic about ANGEL MIKAWA.




Another tired "night/knight" pun, this one to blame on RICK SPRINGFIELD.




THE WARLOCK gets the honor nod just because he never made a substantial appearance anywhere but in the Filmation super-cosmos.




ZORRO RIDES AGAIN (1937)

 



PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTIONS: *psychological, sociological*


ZORRO RIDES AGAIN is not only a rather bland take on the original "Zorro" story-- which would be successfully remade in 1940. It's also one of the lesser collaborations of directors William Witney and John English, who would work on such stellar serials as PERILS OF NYOKA and THE DRUMS OF FU MANCHU. Still, ZORRO was the first teaming of the two directors, so it may be excusable that they didn't do much more than provide twelve episodes of riding and shooting.

The story takes place in 1930s California, but there are hardly any signs of modern civilization, and I suspect the story was recycled from earlier serial-stories in which dastardly outlaws besieged frontier towns. Marsden (Noah Beery, who was a villain in the 1920 MARK OF ZORRO) a power-hungry financier, wants to gain total hegemony over a railway that joins California to Mexico (thus endangering U.S-Mexico relations, though this is only mentioned in the first episode). Thus Marsden's gang, led by a Caucasian bandit styled "El Lobo," rains havoc upon the locality until a new Zorro appears. This hero descends from the original Diego de la Vega, and his secret identity, James Vega, carries over the name. Vega too is played by a Caucasian actor, John Carroll, though this isn't problematic given that the original Zorro was an aristocratic Spaniard. (He might've had Ottoman blood in his veins, but probably not that of Native  Americans.)

Like most serials, there's no real plot, just assorted perils and resolutions, until the conclusion, when, instead of the villain being unmasked, the hero is, though it doesn't prevent him from gaining the ultimate upper hand, much like the original McCulley source-novel. Carroll plays the double role well (he shifts to an accented voice in his Zorro persona, but the accent sounds reasonably natural and non-offensive to my ears), and though this Zorro never wields a sword, there's plenty of whip-action to be had. Indeed, the whip-scenes provide the serial's best action, particularly when the hero humiliates a big bully who's just threatened a young Mexican woman.

Otherwise, apart from the serial's history in the collaboration of Witney and English, ZORRO RIDES AGAIN is mostly interesting as being the first of four revivals of the character in serial-format, including ZORRO'S FIGHTING LEGION.