THE GRAND SUPERHERO OPERA

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF BATMAN (1977)

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological*

It's tough to find much to say about these 16 mediocre Filmation cartoons, in marked contrast to my review of the 17 stories the same company did in 1968, also starring Batman, Robin, and Batgirl and featuring many of the well-known Bat-villains. I'm sure Filmation re-used various drawings from the 1968 series in this one, but I wouldn't have minded that, had the second cartoon emulated some of the clever writing as well. Further, I mentioned that I liked a lot of the 1968 voicework. But the 1977 show showed its poverty of imagination by having the same fellow, one Lennie Weinrib, execute almost all of the villain-voices. True, Adam West and Burt Ward were hired to re-enact Batman and Robin for the first time since the live-action show ended in 1968. But their participation added little, because the scripts were so incredibly pedestrian. Even the zany third season of the live-action show gave the Dynamic Duo more good lines to utter.

The show is notable, or notorious, for reviving the DC character Bat-Mite, an extra-dimensional imp. He wore a Bat-costume and strove to be a hero like his idol but proved generally incompetent. He'd been gone from the comics for ten years, since Bat-Mite's sort of humor was perceived as childish by long-time fans of Batman comics. But Filmation, who were going after little kid-viewers, never met a goofy mascot the company didn't like. And though the comics-version isn't very good either, his main appeal was creating chaos with his magical abilities. This Bat-Mite can barely do anything but very minor feats, and worse, for five or six episodes he actually uses a terrible catchphrase: "I was only trying to help!" I'm tempted to think that the deliberately bad catchphrase used by child-actress Baby Doll in an episode of BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES-- "I didn't mean to!"--might have been inspired by this real mediocrity.

The classic villains are poorly executed, and the new villains are all worthless, with one slight exception. Keeping current with the media fascination with "moon rocks" brought to Earth by 1970s space ventures, an astronaut (the show's only significant Black character) becomes physically and mentally altered by radiation. He begins transforming into the crazed Moonman and seeks to avenge the plundering of the lunar orb by causing the moon to crash into Earth. In the last three episodes of the series, the original Bat-Mite concept -- that of an imp with near-illimitable magic powers-- gets funneled into Zarbor, a native of Bat-Mite's dimension who can perform all sorts of miracles. He enlists the help of four Bat-villains-- Catwoman, Clayface, Joker and Penguin-- for some dastardly plan in the show's only two-part story-- and then he gets his own episode as the series wraps up.

I suppose the sociological significance of the teleseries is that it was produced at the height of the "anti-violence" crusade in children's cartoons. In my review of the 1968 cartoon I noted that Batman and Robin made free with their fists while Batgirl didn't get much fight-action. But all three heroes are "neutered" of their violent aspects in the 1977 show, and the very minimal fighting here is all done with gimmicks. But one might say that Batgirl still gets the short end of the stick, since Bat-Mite constantly crushes on Batgirl in between his assorted screwups.

THE MAGIC CARPET (1951)

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

I saw CARPET long ago and remembered little about it but the unusual presence of Lucille Ball in a Hollywood "Arabian knockwurst" (my term for all the low-budget Oriental fantasies that got ground out like sausages). While producer Sam Katzman was never known for excellence in any genre, I have found that a couple of his Oriental sausages were silly fun, such as THIEF OF DAMASCUS and THE SIREN OF BAGDAD. Additonally, CARPET's director was Lew Landers, who produced some favorite horror-films, such as the 1935 RAVEN and THE RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE. Unfortunately, this flick, which as far as I can tell was Katzman's first venture in Arabian Nights terrain, is ordinary in every way.

At least the film starts off with action, as some Caliph (let's say it's in Baghdad) getting assassinated on the same day he proclaims the birth of his newborn son. The Caliph's court is massacred and a usurper named Ali (Gregory Gaye) takes over, along with his vizier Boreg (Raymond Burr) and Ali's capricious sister Narah (Ball). However, a servant escapes with the newborn with the aid of the titular flying carpet. The dying servant leaves the infant and the carpet with a virtuous couple, and the carpet is squirreled away while the couple raises the boy as their own over the next twenty years. The child grows into the man Ramoth (John Agar), and once he's an adult Ramoth is mighty wroth with the tyrannies of Caliph Ali. In approved Zorro fashion he fabricates a masked identity, The Scarlet Falcon (though he's not often seen masked) and organizes a resistance movement.

All the familiar swashbuckling tropes are dutifully hauled out. A beautiful young woman named Lida (Patricia Medina) joins the rebellion against the Falcon's wishes, and of course the two fall in love, though she doesn't prove to be much of a fighter. Ramoth gets a chance to infiltrate the Caliph's palace by curing Ali's long spate of hiccups (don't ask), but I'm blamed if I remember what comes about because of this action. I also forget how Lida becomes a member of Narah's harem, which leads to a minor set-to when Narah slaps Lida. (Medina claimed in an interview that Ball hit her for real.) Neither the hero nor the villains seem to do much of anything but run through the motions, until the moment that Ramoth is informed of his heritage and of the secret weapon of the flying carpet, which the hero uses to overcome the villains and be united with his lady love. Oh, and Ramoth gets to swordfight Boreg, so there's that.

Though I imagine the use of the carpet was inspired by the climax of the 1940 THIEF OF BAGDAD, the extremely paltry special FX probably didn't inspire even the most uncritical viewers in 1951. Some of the lead actors in these knockwursts have brought a little charisma to the formula stories, but John Agar is horribly dull in the role, and even Medina, who played many such exotic roles, can't do anything with her part. Of the three villains, Ball gets the best lines and is almost the only reason to see the movie, which premiered days before the launching of her successful I LOVE LUCY teleseries. Ostensibly Ball, who had never quite hit her stride on the big screen, had to complete some obligation to Columbia Pictures and accepted the role even though she knew CARPET was junk. Her breakthrough as a TV comedienne gave her a second life in cinema, though she still dominantly worked in TV. But for what little it's worth, this moldy oldie is the only time actors like Ball and Agar delved into the domain of the superhero-adjacent fantasy.

VAMPIRES (1996)

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTIONS: *sociological*

1996's VAMPIRES (I'll pass on using the possessive "John Carpenter's") is like his BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA an ensemble-like film in which one major character leads a bunch of lesser sidekicks against a common enemy. In my mini-review of the original book by John Steakley, I found that the author went so overboard with his nattering about the male bonding between the kickass vampire killers that he neglected to make their battle against a "super-vampire" compelling. Carpenter seems to have kept about the first three-fourths of the book's main plot and deep-sixed most of the rambling asides I didn't like.

This time, while main hero Jack Crow still works with a bunch of male vamp-hunters, most of them aren't given much to do in the non-action scenes, which is all to the good. The one exception is the character of Montoya, who becomes Crow's primary buddy. James Woods and Daniel Baldwin make all the "cowboy samurai" stuff go down easy, and Carpenter ups the ante on the action-scenes that the original author neglected. That said, no one in the film is particularly appealing, even within the sphere of the "tough professional" ethos being evoked here. VAMPIRES also failed to "stake" any claims at the American box office, and despite an energetic Woods performance, doesn't seem to have taken on cult status as yet.

LUPIN III: ISLAND OF ASSASSINS (1997)

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*

Though the Lupin Gang often provokes battles with gangsters and megalomaniacs by ripping them off, this time a major player declares open hostilities on Lupin for reasons not revealed until the final half-hour of this telefilm.

Though there's a little bit of comedy fanservice in ISLAND, the script is darker and more violent than the majority of Lupin projects. The first scene opens like many other capers: Zenigata shows up at a ritzy party, having received Lupin's announcement of his intent to rob the place. However, when cop meets robber, Lupin reveals that he didn't send the message but got one himself. Then the mysterious dispenser of the messages appears and shoots Zenigata, showing none of the playful restraint of the gentleman thief. And while Lupin doesn't get a good luck at the shooter, he identifies the gun as a Walther P-38 that Lupin owned years ago and lost under involved circumstances. Zenigata survives by dumb luck but gets sidelined into the hospital.

The gun is a callback to previous Lupin continuity and was of enough significance to fans that the filmmakers' Japanese name for the movie was MEMORY OF THE WALTHER P-38. In my opinion, the mystery of the missing pistol pales beside the script's emphasis on the island-domicile of the mystery-man. Somehow, even though the island is guarded by satellite-lasers, Lupin manages to send Fujiko undercover, joining a cabal of assassins, The Tarantulas, who serve a variety of political masters. Later Lupin himself also infiltrates the island without much trouble and meets Gordeau, the apparent leader of the Tarantulas.

Gordeau has a unique means of keeping his subordinates: he has each of them imprinted with an indelible tattoo impregnated with poison, and each assassin who leaves the island on a mission must return to breathe the curative gases of the island. The villain applies these poison-tattoos to both Lupin and Fujiko to control them. Fujiko doesn't have much to do after this, while Jigen and Goemon largely function as rescuers at the climax. To be sure, all of the thieves aren't purely motivated by vengeance, for the Tarantulas are supposed to have amassed an immense treasure from all of their contract killings. Just for some side-titillation, Lupin also become interested in one assassin, an embittered young woman named Ellen, though he seems almost avuncular toward her, even when she tries to outfight him.

Eventually, the mystery of the Walther comes back into play, and the viewer learns that Lupin lost the gun to his first criminal partner, whose name is never revealed. This individual has been hiding on the island under another name, though the big reveal doesn't carry much impact. Ellen doesn't get a happy ending, and Goemon has one of his more eyebrow-raising scenes when he uses his katana to slice and dice a bank of computers.

Technically Lupin and Fujiko don't get cured of their poison tats after sinking the Island of Assassins, but I doubt anyone cared about that particular continuity-point. Zenigata provides most of the comedy with his attempts to escape the hospital and return to trailing Lupin.

RETURN OF THE KUNG FU DRAGON (1976)

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical*

I've invented a new term for the type of chopsockies that mix in plenty of wild magical phenomena with all the hand-to-hand battles-- "the chopwackies." In 2023 I designated KUNG FU WONDER CHILD as a contender for one of the craziest, but this Polly Shang Kuan vehicle may rival it.

The core of RETURN is not the return of a single "dragon," but of four kung-fu champions out for vengeance on behalf of their slain parents. Golden City, the capital of a paradisical island, has its rightful rule usurped by an evil tyrant, General Tsen-kun, and his evil but unnamed wizard. Their forces slay the rulers and their most faithful kung-fu bodyguards, but a female heir and two children of two bodyguards are sent away. The girl-child of the third bodyguard is raised by Tsen-kun as if she were his own seed. Given the name Ma Chen Chen, the young woman (Shang Kuan) becomes a child of privilege, for all that she's a kung-fu prodigy.

Far off on some mountain, the real princess (Sze-Ma Yu-Chiao) has been training in the martial arts until reaching the age of nineteen, at which point she leaves and sets out to gather together the offspring of her parents' former officers. Frankly, though Ma and the princess get more scenes than the two male descendants, the princess doesn't really have much to do once Ma finds out about her true heritage. The director and writer seemingly have no interest in the drama of Ma's situation-- there are no scenes in which the heroine upbraids her false father, though she does kick him once at the conclusion-- and Ma is instantly on board with the revenge project, helping the exiled royal find the other two fighters.

I think the logic of the story, such as it is, is that because both the general and the wizard have all sorts of metamorphic powers, only these four warriors can match the villains in this regard. There's not really a plot as such; just one wild flight of fancy after another. At one point the wizard creates a gigantic projection of his own hand, but when Ma burns the giant hand, the phantasm dissolves and the sorcerer cries out in pain. Later Nameless Wizard creates a kaiju-sized beast to tear through the city, but one of the male warriors "giganticizes" himself and battles the creature briefly. There are some wild scenes wherein huge wheels and horses' hooves fly through the air, and most of the time it's impossible to tell who's doing what. The only scene that stands out for me, even though I just finished watching the streaming version an hour ago, shows the general trying to manifest some sort of magical force-screen to protect himself from a big metal wheel.

One asset distinguishes this chopwacky from KUNG FU WONDER CHILD or even Shang Kuan's ZODIAC FIGHTERS a couple years later: this time the lead actress has a strong heroic persona that makes RETURN dopey fun to watch. It would be fair to say that even though Ma Chen Chen has no depth, she does have a certain swashbuckling style that makes her fight-scenes enjoyable. For that reason, I consider that Shang Kuan is the only real star of this show, while her allies are supporting characters.

Curiously, the streaming version I watched had its English dubbing drop off in the last ten minutes. But RETURN, for all its weird sights, doesn't boast any memorably goofy dialogue to match the magical phenomena.

THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK: DARK FURY (2004)

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

DARK FURY is a cartoon featurette of slightly more than half an hour, prepared as a DVD extra for the live-action CHRONICLES theatrical feature. PITCH BLACK's director David Twohy provided the basic story.

The narrative takes place almost immediately after the wanted murderer Riddick (Vin Diesel) escapes the desert planet with two other survivors, the female adolescent Jack (Rihanna Griffith) and the Imam (Keith David). They're seeking to be picked up by the authorities, though Jack and the Imam have agreed to conceal Riddick's identity in repayment for his having saved their lives. Instead, a strange ship full of battle-ready mercs brings the refugee vessel aboard with a tractor-beam. Riddick kills several of the mercs until one henchman forces him to surrender by threatening Jack's life.

On the surface the ship appears to be simply capturing wanted men, storing them in cryostasis with the intention of collecting bounties on the criminals. But when Riddick and his companions encounter the master of the ship, Antonia Chillingsworth, they learn that she has a weird artistic fixation regarding death. She's freezing the wanted men into icy sculptures, with no intention of turning them in. Somehow, Antonia knows who Riddick really is, and she gives him the chance to fight some creatures in an arena, to show off his deadly skills before she makes him into a permanent artwork.

FURY is by-the-numbers action, with no real characterization of either old or new characters. Famed animation director Peter Chung works in some of his customary visual tropes, but none of the designs stand out. The cartoon's sole appeal lies in Diesel's sober readings of his standard tough-guy lines.